Chapter
Four: Self-Disclosure on the Net
In this chapter the thematic statements that
emerged from the study data, pertaining to the medium of communication used, are
established and explored. The function of this chapter is the identification of
these statements as they emerged from the data, that is, how they came to 'be'.
Consequently, by looking at what the participants had to say, it is possible to
illustrate the foundations and formation of these themes.
That the degree of self-disclosure of
participants, did in fact reach the level that I had desired, and required for
this study, and that it was more than capable of generating such levels if the
researcher remained aware of the traps and pitfalls which accompany this medium,
just as in 'conventional' interaction.
To be self-disclosing with another person(s)
involves a reciprocal relationship, where the degree to which you disclose
yourself to another, significantly affects the degree to which they
'self-disclose' (Johnson 1972, p. 10-11):
Self-disclosure may
best be defined ... as revealing how you are reacting to the present situation
and giving any information about the past that is relevant to understanding how
you are reacting to the present ... To be self-disclosing means to share with
another person how you feel about something he/she has done or said, or how you
feel about the events which may have just taken place. Self-disclosure does not
mean revealing intimate details of you past life ... but a relationship is built
by disclosing your reactions to events ... A person comes to know and understand
you not through knowing your past history but through knowing how you react
(Johnson 1972, p. 10).
Much of the formative weeks of the data
generation process involved this establishment of reciprocity, in terms of
nourishing the formation of a relationship that would 'nurse' equal degrees of
self-disclosure, between myself and my co-investigators. As such, I made initial
disclosures in order to encourage this pattern of discourse from the study
participants. In relation to the form of interaction and self-disclosure, Stone
argues that our identity, (such as gender, age and race) is
... completely
masked by computer mediated communications; all that is revealed is what we
choose to reveal --- and then only if we choose to tell the truth. The rise of
computer mediated communications is giving people the means to try on an
alternative personae --- in a sense, to reinvent themselves --- which ... has
both positive and potentially destructive implications (1996, p. 1).
In this study, I had to remain aware of this
fact, both during and after the research process. Accordingly, I felt that the
longer time period allocated for the generation of data would serve to
compensate for this masking of identities, in some way. This was because I felt
that for most people it is difficult to sustain untruths when involved in
long-term, intensive interactions, either in the real or virtual 'worlds'. In
terms of this research study, there was an openness that I had not anticipated
before I began our interactions, and Midori, one of my co-investigators (aged
43) voiced this spirit, saying that:
... you know I'm
very happy with the way things are progressing, and I know we get sidelined
sometimes into talking about other things. But the important fact is that I'm
telling you things about myself which I've given very little, if any, thought
to, let alone spoken to anyone close to me, not even my wife. Not that I
wouldn't if she asked me, I think, but its something that men aren't really
expected to need or desire (2 March 1998).
Thomas (aged 45) also discussed the issue of
self-disclosure with me a few times during the research process, but one
particular conversation was especially valuable. This conversation made me
cognisant of the fact that I was receiving information from him that was
extremely distressing, and which he had not really spoken of previously, just
held within himself. It concerned his first wife's decision not only to leave
him, but also to leave him unannounced:
... even now I can
vividly remember coming home from work that night and seeing everything, and I
mean everything, gone. It was a shock, worse than that really, and I never have
fully got over it, despite the fact that I am now married to a wonderful woman
and have been for some time. I don't really talk about it because its still too
sickening to me, but I guess in this case its far better to speak to someone
like you, who is genuinely interested (Thomas, 45, 19 April 1998).
Marv, the eldest participant at 72 years, was
always encouraging and effusive in his discussions with me, beginning right from
the start with issues and stories that were of tremendous value in terms of
self-disclosure. Naturally, I took into account his age, and the fact that
(perhaps) he needed to tell someone who was interested, about his lived
experiences. His narratives primarily involved the years he spent in the Defence
Force, which was the majority of his adult life, but which were always full of
emotion and vitality. They were most definitely not the ramblings of an older
man trying to relive his past, as Marv always made a point of checking with me
what he had already said. I think in the end though, that Marv had a good deal
of fun in the process, as well as time to reflect on what he had lived through
and where it had brought him to, as a man.
I am getting
excited to be included in your project. I do have life experiences which some
people would not believe. So [B]eing inherently honest, I will give you much to
think about (Marv, 72, 6 February 1998).
This brings us to the second thematic
statement, that of the issue of data generation in the 'Virtual World' versus
the 'Real World'.
That electronic forms of interaction,
particularly as part of a research study, are more difficult to sustain,
although this may be an affect of the long-term relationship requirements of
this particular project.
It soon became obvious in this study that
despite the intentions of the researcher and participants willingness to work
within the electronic medium, maintaining long-term relationships is much more
difficult than it appears. When I began the study I was of the opinion that
electronic relationships were much easier to maintain than those in the real
'world'. In this study, the primary factor that affected the maintenance of our
relationships was that the majority (four) of the participants lived in the
United Sates of America. I tried to account for this by encouraging them to
'explore' my home city online, sending photographs, snail mail (letters) and
making the occasional telephone call. My co-investigators were also keen to try
to situate me within their minds, often finding their own resources in order to
see where, and how, I lived. Victor (aged 41), for example, wrote that he had
... found a link
that will give me the Townsville weather report in one shot. So, before I write
you I look at the weather report to see what's happening "down under"
(Victor, 41, 10 March 1998).
Midori conceded that it was very difficult
for him at times to maintain our correspondence, frankly stating that,
If not for the
commitments of school, I would love to take whatever time necessary to give you
my life story and my personal thoughts about everything, unfortunately I don't
have that kind of time. I definitely do want to continue with this ... If I
become uncomfortable, I will tell you so (Midori, 43, 1 March 1998).
Marv, whose 'conversations' with me were
always prolific, always worried that we would lose contact for some reason, even
though I assured him that I wanted to continue our interactions after the
completion of the actual project.
I hope you haven't
forgotten me. I get tired writing so much, but it's like you opened up a tap and
my thoughts are so much easier to put on paper for which I will always be
beholden to you (Marv, 72, 12 March 1998).
I should also point out that the difficulties
associated with sustaining these long-term relationships, was of a reciprocal
nature, except for me, as researcher, the problems in fact became six fold. For
example, when I was ill in bed I still had to check in with my co-investigators;
write replies, explain that I was ill and that my conversations would only be
short, but thus maintaining the link between us. Whilst this may seem to make
online interaction appear both tenuous and transient, I would argue that it is
simply the nature of the environment that makes it so, and not the people who
are involved. According to Lindlif and Shatzer,
The Internet
encompasses an array of settings in which symbolic culture is performed and in
which participants mean to express something coherent. The global, yet
perceptibly intimate, nature of these settings and the social affiliations they
spawn has attracted interest from [many] interpretive analysts (1998, p. 2).
Although this particular statement was made
with specific reference to ethnographers, it is still very much applicable in
this study. Ethnographers study the lifeworld of a particular cultural group,
from within. I seek to study a particular cultural group, in the same sense, but
'within' the Virtual World, where the cultural group I study is that of 'men'.
As Rabinow and Sullivan state,
Interpretive social
science starts with the hermeneutic axiom that human beings act on the basis of
collective (cultural) understandings that are continually negotiated through
linguistic and symbolic practices (cited in Lindlif and Shatzer (1998, p. 2).
That is, that the participant, for example,
operates within a contextual framework of understanding which invariably
changes, whether that context exists within the 'real world', or within the
'virtual world'. Lindlif and Shatzer also note that,
In virtual space,
most behaviour is inscribed as visible discourse only. Context and personal
history ... accrue over time as the researcher becomes more familiar with the
threads of orthographic text. Thus the worlds that CMC [Computer Mediated
Communication] ethnographers investigate are simulacra of an indexical kind, in
which a high degree of self-referentiality in the text to ongoing and past
events helps to build the sense of a continuous, living project (1998, p. 4).
This is what I have tried to recognise, and
utilise in this study; that people can come together in the electronic
environment, trade ideas, co-ordinate their energies and find the kind of
identification and feeling of belonging, that they have not, or cannot encounter
in their real lives. People may have more meaningful relationships and a
heightened sociological concept of community on the Internet, as opposed to
those within their real 'world', and if this is so, is a distinct advantage for
this form of interaction.
The fact that I was a female researcher was
of significant value with regards to the degree and type of data that was
generated by participants.
Cixous argues that women are associated more
with nature than culture, that they are allied, or thought of, in terms of 'the
heart' and the emotions, rather than with 'the head' and rationality (1975, p.
90). According to Woodward, what Cixous voices and identifies
' ... as the
tendency to classify the world into an opposition between male and female
principles ...' is endorsed ' ... by structuralist analyses based on Saussure's
emphasis on contrast as a principle of linguistic structure ...' (1997, p. 37).
The concept of a dichotomy, particularly
between the sexes, inherently incorporates arguments of power and distribution,
of the notion of a norm and an 'other'. For Cixous, these divisions are
indisputably 'weighted', particularly when these oppositions are gendered (1990,
p. 90). However, what of these 'weighted' dichotomies in cyberspace? Do the
power, or binary oppositions still apply in this situation, and specifically
when the interviewer is a female and the interviewee a male? I ask this
primarily because the interviewer, under conventional conditions, is seen as
being the one with power and the interviewee the 'other'. Keats argues that both
the content of the interview and the gender of interviewer and respondent, are
factors which interact with each other (1993, p. 117). The gender of the
interviewer, Keats states, influences responses particularly where the interview
subject matter involves the disclosure of personal matters (1993, p. 117).
Townsend points out that in her research, people actually challenged her right
as a woman to write about men:
They didn't believe
I would get the truth from men. Men, I was told, would clam up, tell lies,
divulge less than the whole truth, or engage in good old-fashioned male
confabulation (1994, pp. 5-6).
Townsend also points out that the act of
sharing emotions is much more complicated than just opening up (1994, p. 93). It
involves ' ... dropping the masculine façade of knowing, of being right'
(Townsend 1994, p. 93). This is an important consideration in research studies
such as this, where men are actively encouraged to drop this façade, and more
specifically risk being perceived as being something other than the perceived
masculine norm. Hite, argues that this non-communicative male behavioural
pattern can be seen as promoting something akin to men being heroically in
control (1993, p. 260). This implies that women, in being more emotionally
communicative, are somehow not in control, and are weak and vulnerable because
of this. However, I do not believe this to be entirely true, and agree with
Mendell in saying that one of women's strengths is their ability to be
sensitive, empathetic, and responsive to other peoples emotions, regardless of
gender (1996, p. 85).
In cyberspace, there are little of the
'conventions' of traditional power relationships between men and women. There
are no visual cues, such as non-verbal components of communication, and most
importantly, the interviewer and interviewee carry out their work via the medium
of the Internet. This means that the interaction which does take place, does so
within the context of a medium which cannot be 'controlled' by either party.
Each party must interact within the given confines of the electronic medium.
From this, the nature of the relationship between researcher and participant is
placed on a more equal footing. There is no anxiety or perception that the
interviewer has increased status because of the organisation he or she is
affiliated with, and the matter of gender becomes slightly less of an issue than
in conventional situations.
The male/female dichotomy, and in particular
its inherent power relations, still exist however, particularly in terms of
communication which is based upon social interaction. In terms of research and
interviewing, however, this dichotomy becomes more concerned with the social
construction of gender, and less concerned with power relations. As Stone, one
of the first researchers to study gender relations in the Internet, notes,
I am particularly
conscious of this because much of the work of cyberspace researchers, reinforced
and perhaps created by the soaring imagery of William Gibson's novels, assumes
that the human body is "meat" - obsolete as soon as consciousness
itself can be uploaded into the network ... Cyberspace developers foresee a time
when they will be able to forget about the body. But it is important to remember
that virtual community originates in, and must return to, the physical ... Even
in the age of technosocial subject, life is lived through bodies (1992, p.
112-3).
For the moment however, the body is still a
powerful presence in cyberspace, particularly where interaction is based upon
the 'act' of socialising. In this study however, the issue of gender did not
impact upon the relationship between myself and my co-investigators. Buchbinder
notes that
Because male
homosocial relationships are disrupted and shot through with suspicion, of
rivalry with and supervision by other men, many men, fearful of confiding in and
trusting their male fellows, turn to women to contribute the emotional component
of their lives (1994, pp. 36-7).
The only person to say something in this
regard during the data generation process was Andrew, who was openly worried
that I was in fact a woman. I feel however, that Andrew's age (21) may have been
a prime factor in his concern, as his generation is often seen as being
particularly enamoured with interacting on the Internet, particularly
interaction which challenges and allows for, 'gender bending' (Spender 1995, pp.
241-4). At the close of the study however, I made a point of asking my
participants how they actually felt about this issue. Victor replied that,
The quantity of
information to disclose was based on two important factors:
- The fact that
information was going to be obtained via an email exchange rather than a face to
face interview made personal information easier to divulge. It also allowed time
to consider the questions in depth and supply more details as to related events.
- The fact that you
were a female made it easier when you consider my views of man as an entity in
today's society. I felt confident that I would not be judged and be able to
offer what would be a different perspective. If you had been a male the content
of my answers would not have changed but the amount of introspection and
volunteered information may have been an issue of restraint (Victor, aged 41,
7July 1998).
The following statement from Midori also
mirrored Victor's sentiments, in that he felt that my gender was a positive
influence in his willingness to talk about intimate details of his life, but
that he may also have disclosed less if I had been a man:
... well in terms
of you being a woman, and the researcher of course, I think that this was a very
positive factor in what I disclosed to you. Would I have said the same things to
a male researcher? I would tentatively say probably not, although I can't say
for certain as I have never been in that situation (Midori, aged 43, 17 August
1998).
When I asked Thomas what he felt about this
issue, his reply was that,
... I don't think
it would have made any difference to me really, although I do like the fact that
you are a woman. I think I can safely say that I am comfortable with who I am, I
am aware of my life, past and present and have no difficulty talking about such
things with others, not that I run around discussing my life at every
opportunity (Thomas, aged 45, 10 August 1998).
Thomas felt comfortable with the fact that I
was a woman, and indicated that this was probably a favourable factor in his
disclosures to me, a sentiment that was reflected by the majority of the
participants.
Having discussed the first three thematic statements pertaining to the medium of communication utilised in this study, I feel that it is evident that electronic forms of interaction are capable of encouraging, maintaining and sustaining, an environment where all of the men who took part in this project felt comfortable enough to disclose the information that this study sought to uncover. As such, it is my belief that the Internet provides a reliable context within which my co-investigators voices were both 'heard' and understood, most importantly in a way that allowed me to create knowledge from the data. At the end of the study process, I am still unsure as to whether the difficulties I encountered in sustaining the long-term relations were an inherent determinant of electronic relationships, or due to the nature and duration of our interaction. I tend to think that it is a factor that affects the majority of electronic communication, given the nature of this environment
Author
: Caroline M Bennett
Copyright © 1998. All rights reserved.
Revised: October 16, 2001
.